Be careful what you are praising 😳

I’ve been overtraining for the last week or two. I know it and I’m aware that I am putting a lot of stress on my body but between my goal of getting a blue belt in BJJ, getting fitter and stronger, and just having fun - I find it hard to sit at home and do nothing!

My training goals are not really based around what I look like. I went to squat yesterday because I want to keep my legs strong for kicking. I went for a jog today because I want to practice my endurance while nasal breathing (for BJJ).

I am quite aware of how my body is feeling and I know when my nervous system is feeling shot after a couple of days of training.

I thought I was eating around maintenance or in a very slight calorie deficit but I seem to be looking leaner.

And people are noticing and praising me for it.

To be honest, I do feel happy with how I look at the moment so I’ve probably been posting more selfies as usual. 

I’m getting messages from friends and followers telling me that I look so good right now and that Bali suits me.

Now don’t get me wrong, I love a compliment.

But I’m glad I have the awareness to know that my behaviour is not that healthy in terms of stress on the body (but I’m ok with that at the moment because of my other values).

It made me think about how often we praise unhealthy behaviours that result in weight loss.

Instagram is full of it. Dramatic weight loss is glorified, when dramatic weight loss is often not the healthiest thing for your body.

Take, for example, the "heartbreak diet" - your friend is so distraught over her relationship breaking up that she can hardly eat. 

After a few weeks, she has lost a few kg and puts up a picture on Instagram. All the girlos are in the comments with the flames and love heart emojis.

But what is the implication here? She is now getting praise for her appearance, even though she is malnourished and not eating enough. This might discourage her from returning to healthy eating behaviours, even though she is starving.

Most of the time, we don’t know why somebody is losing weight (unless you are a coach and monitoring their nutrition and training), so it is important to be aware that you *could* be praising unhealthy behaviours that can have psychological implications.

I know somebody who lost a lot of weight while battling a disease and yet is being asked for diet tips online.

Fat loss does not equal health. Fat loss can be a result of healthy behaviours but it can also be as a result of unhealthy behaviours, or even as a result of healthy behaviours but cutting all the fun out! 

I remember at the start of the pandemic, I lost a good bit of weight because I wasn’t able to travel or go partying. I had a good routine and would say I lost it in a healthy way, but I was getting so many nice compliments, that I was worried what people would think when I inevitably gained some weight back when I returned to all the fun things I was used to doing.

So, you want to be nice and supportive? Great!

Find ways to praise your friends outside of how they eat or the shape of their bodies. Bodies are going to fluctuate in size as we go through life, and we don’t want to imply that there is one shape that is best for any person.

Thanks for reading,

Siobhan “mental health first” O’Hagan